Jes Count It Up, Count It Up….Count It

Soooooo….you think that moving is easy? Baby…..the hours, the diligence and the dollars.  At this point I really just feel like I support everyone else’s habits…Like the habit of giving me cell phone service, the habit of eating, the habit of sleeping…just habits.  It is absolutely crazy how much money that will be spent on this move.  And you can try to budget….but sigh….

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I can guarantee you that your finances will throw you off.  Like you going to have a plan and then realize you forgot something or didn’t remember something.  Like real talk, I am refusing to go to the store ONE MO’ GIN…and I know I am at the end of the toothpaste roll….here are some of the items that I just want to try to give you a heads up on.

  1.  LUGGAGE FEES!!!!  Trust me, these airlines will get a rent check from me trying to get all my luggage overseas.  Extra bags.  Over the weight limit. Anything these airlines come up with….I am donating a kidney just to make sure I can this extra carry-on through.
  2. Black Girl Magic:  Do you know what it takes to keep this black girl magical?  Here is the list…shea butter, coconut oil, essential oils, hair weave, hair conditioner, hair twisting butter, hair oils, deep conditioner, shampoo, grape seed oil, vitamin e, olive oil, hand mixer, spray bottles, combs, deman brushes, satin bonnets, and love and anointing of Jesus Christ our Lord.  The things I do so I can shine.   And shining takes pocket change.                                                                 giphy (21).gif
  3. Humidifier, water, filters and all forms:  Yep, I am moving to a place that is 95 degrees for the winter.  Do you know the life of dry skin?  Mixing that with eczema…baby I got to find moisture at every turn necessary.  I have to make it rain and the Middle East is notorious for hard water and dry heat.  That means you will be so dry that skin can crack.  It’s real in these streets. giphy (24).gif
  4. Deposits for new bills…New everything.  Everything.  EVERYTHING.  Bank Accounts, internet, phone, apps, cable, and just deep sighs.  In order to make a way for life you got to put down the deposits.
  5. FOOD:  Nuff said.
  6. Phone Bills:  Big thought prices (did earlier) about keeping the old service, but during the transition times you carrying that old US Bill, plus international rates until you get settle…and DON’T BREAK NO CONTRACT….they be coming for you. giphy (25).gif
  7. Moving expenses:  Like, moving boxes, storage fees, garage sale fees, trucking fees, packaging, folks who helped you thank you lunches, and trust me.  You ain’t going to realize how much stuff you have.  And all of it needs to go some place.
  8. Documentation Fees:  This by far is the worst!  You can outsource it or do it yourself, it don’t matter because you gonna be in the hundreds to maybe hopefully let’s not get to the thousands of dollars.  And depending on your country you got to notarize everything.  You got medical exams, legal fees, background checks, authentications, and so much more.  I did not say nothing about the amount of passport photos you are taking.
  9. Draws and Bras:  Uhm.  You need to reup your stash.  Period.  Grow up.  We adulting in here.
  10. STUFF.  Just Stuff.  Like in the middle of this blog I got an alert from a girlfriend about adapters.  Then I had a reality check about big people towels.  And then I realized I don’t have no earrings for work.  giphy (26).gif

I’m just telling you…..

Count it up, count it up…..

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