This process will make you do a lot of things. Jumping is only the beginning. You will learn how to jump, how high to jump, to which velocity you must jump, then after all that jumping….
There will be an amazing amount of quiet.
So much quiet you will wonder if the process is still going.
And it will make you nervous.
Let me tell you a story. My brother, Meat, asked me once if I trust him. I was insulted he even had to ask me. Trust? I scoffed. “Yeah, I trust you man. Everyday of the week. Twice on Sunday. I know you got me.”
“Nahhhhhhhh. You don’t,” He told me. I was hurt. I questioned him back. How could he not think I trust him. He put it like this.
“Say you are blindfolded and you were on a cliff and I told you to jump. Would you jump?”
All the pause in my throat got caught. “How blindfolded? Did I see the cliff? Why would I be on the cliff in the first place? Can I slide down? Do you have my hand in your hand? Am I just jumping? I ain’t got good balance…..
And he stopped me.
And simply told me…”Why would I ever tell you something to harm you? That is not how I love you…and you should never expect less from me than that.”
“And, it means you don’t trust me.”
That was a hard lesson for me to learn. One I still struggle with today. And waiting for this on-boarding process reminds me so much of that story. That I have waiting, made a commitment and I am ready to move on….and there is silence. And you have to sit back and believe that you will be okay….because at home, you are making big jumps.
You are cutting off contracts. Jump.
Resigning from jobs. Jump.
Spending money on travel items. Jump.
Closing housing. Jump.
Getting asked questions you only know parts of the answers too. Jump.
It’s a lot of scary moves and its almost like a trapeze ride….you are used to being stable. Even if you are swinging, twisting and juggling on one side of the world…there is a relief because you know that you are still holding on. And there is this other swing, a whole new world…you see it, you know it will hold you up, you have seen others do it…but you are not on that swing yet….you reach out your hand in anticipation of what is to come…
And you are in suspension. That is what this time is….the suspension….the anticipation while in the peace of stillness. Its a new emotion. Unsettling but exciting….
So hold of on the control.
And know that no matter the suspension time or wait….there is someone who plans on catching you….
Because even in your worse case scenario, use the other side as a cushion and come out alive and unblemished…like real little sisters do.