Jes A Bit Scared

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I’m scared.  Very.  Nervous even.

And I have been running from these emotions in my mind.

I’m moving to a different country.  And that isn’t the piece that is making me want to grab a brown bag and breath in and out.  Not at all.  Not afraid of adventure.  Nor of new addresses or people with different accents.  Not afraid of not knowing or having to learn.

I am afraid of failing.  I am scared that what if with this move.  I mess it up.

I don’t save money.

I don’t pay off my debts.

I am not better than where I started.

I fall into the same cycles of nonsense.

If I don’t increase my portfolio

If I can’t get my school loans paid.

And make the IRS happy.

And I make a mishap.

I’m scared of failing this wonderful opportunity.  I am scared of squandering it.

I can’t fail.

I feel the fear tapping on my conscience.  The blessing of this.  The goals.  The high stakes and pressure I am putting on myself.  To be a 40 year grown ass adult with assets.

All assets and no liabilities.

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I’m not worried about to take on a plane.  I’m not concerned about how far the grocery store is from my house.  I’m not stressed about clothes or draws.

(I am stressed about hair products tho…this natural is hard.)

I want to make sure that I take this opportunity in life and truly do a Cardi B. money moves shift.  I ain’t trying to come back empty handed….in fact, not only will my hands be full, but they will be able to create, harvest, feed and supply the goals I have in my life.

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And it is all on me.

And this move.  So, yes. I am scared.  I should talk in faith and say I know it will be alright.  But, I’m not there yet.  Everything I got to do and want to get done is on a piece a paper.  Well, several different pieces of paper and I am formulating the plan right now.  And I know that it will happen.

Because, there isn’t to many things in my life I haven’t made happen before.  Maybe I just have to realize that the investment in myself is one of the best investments I can make.

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