Aight….Listen up and this is real.
I announced (kinda privately) that I am headed to my school. In an hour I got an email in my inbox that said, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…Don’t do it.”
So of course I asked why, and I was given some reasons (the administration, money, my experience, etc….) and I was like, cool. Thank you for your advice.
You never asked me my goal. You never asked me what my needs are. Advice was given on how to gear my life….but you don’t know what I am looking for. The things that make you happy or unhappy ain’t necessarily the same things that make mine happy or unhappy. I have a different set of goals AND expectations.
What is the solution? No. Really. Give me a solution. You say don’t take a job….you offering one? Especially in this situation, the person was someone I sent my resume too. Can I get some feedback? In this world where we want to impose ourselves to look out for someone….fully look out then. Don’t offer a broken, unstable branch when you supposed to give a limb that is rooted in something. That really got me. This wasn’t a heads up….this was advice. Unfair.
Vetting the information. Uhm….who are you…..and what was your position in problem? See, the advice was coming from someone who was making decisions at the top. Sir. That is 6 steps above the paygrade I will be at. Do you have information about my paygrade? Because me in my mail room lifestyle will be just fine.
(Ahhhhhh see what I did there???)
The truth is that I am not angry at all. In fact, I am grateful that someone reached out and gave caution. I am just really grateful that I am in a position to decipher it and digest it the way I need to. As well, I have made some other connections and I am able to get other stories.
Other truth….I am not going to this school or venture to save the world. Or even to save education. I am going to save me. I am the vision I seek now for the world….therefore there are certain things that are not my concern….hence, administration. That is not my role at that school. I will be focus on my role, becoming an international teacher and perfecting my craft while engaging my life.
Let me break it down again….I’m going to teach.
As well as, I have 17 years in education. Don’t think I can sit back and count on more than one hand when I was working under EFFECTIVE ADMINISTRATION. Dude. I worked in lean on me schools my WHOLE life. I had a student murder another student, I have been thrown across cafeteria tables, I had a bipolar, counseling student corner me in my office with no back up and listen to how he wants to hurt me. I have students push me, I have broken up fights, I dealt with teachers trying to kill each other….gang fights, riots, and probably some more I can’t remember….ALL while getting students to score higher than they have done before with no resources to help me.
I think I’m going to be fine.
See my goals ain’t yours….and my story ain’t theirs. And while everyone has this grand reasons for moving overseas or teaching or whatever. I am simply….going. Using this profession God has blessed me with to now be a blessing. I spent 20 years fighting to save folks lives, souls, minds and hopes.
And now, I get a chance to fill my cup. I know its not going to be perfect. It never is. But this is my foot in the door and I rather get my foot in the door, take a couple of bruises but get past the threshold rather than stand on the other side steady knocking.
So, I don’t need your rose-covered garden. Especially when no one asked me what flower my heaven is covered in. I am still seeing all the flowers God has planted in this world…..and I got to leave home to do that.